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I was

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Leo T_C_K
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I was

Post by Leo T_C_K »

I was released from the hospital. Got beaten up by an ukrainian in front of one of the flat doors as we're renting two small flats. He was looking for trouble, I was nervous because of him so I started to knock on my mom's door (I could have opened it with the key but the foolish me respects privacy of other people that don't respect my privacy). Because she refused to let me to talk to her in person and the matter at hand was pressing I raised my voice and cursed two times then the ukrainian came out again and shouted at me, so I told him to fuck off basically and he just pulled me on the floor stood on me, kicked me at least seven times, kicked the phone out of my hands etcetera. Just because of her irrational fear of me and her lies and bullshit that she keeps pulling. Now she's done it. If she won't fix this situation she's as good as dead for me.

I screamed for help, she didn't call the police she didn't care if I was injured, the first time I heard of her was in the middle of the night she sent a message "where are you" and she basically still said that she's throwing me out.

There was a notice on the door that our contract is terminated in 14 days when I returned. When I returned from a hospital and they ordered me a "peace/quiet regime" how can you find peace with a notice on the door saying you have to move out? They can kts.

The son of the owner came out as the ukraine guy started strangling me he saw it happen perhaps even part of the floor thing I believe. I told him if this is alright for him to just stand and watch and he said its because I can't behave. Oh really? What a hypocritical place, it has a sign at the entrance that it is a place of peace etc. Place of peace where they beat someone up using agressive crimininal ukraine worker that's without money and the owner keeps him as a pet? Really now?

I have to fight my urges for vengeance pretty hard right now. In fact I wonder why should I. I became better person I stopped with all those crusades that others accused me of. And what do I get in the end again? This. There was no agression from my side only urgency. But no matter what I must be always in the wrong, right? How long do I have to suffer this? Ah maybe not too long because the CT scan clearly shows something that has gotten worse in my brain, the cysts possibly tumor. So they are throwing out someone defenseless again and who's possibly in a terminal condition? Welcome to the hospitality of so called christian people. I need to get the fuck out of here and of this abusive mess that I keep being blamed for!

Even though my mom suffers from PTSD(official diagnosis btw) and obviously ADHD and more. So I get a LOT of abuse from her for that reason that she then always turns around. Even though I tried my best to help her with everything to the point of overexhausting myself lately. but no nobody else can see that. She is in their eyes a perfect angel and I'm a bully. She just acts in front of other people. They don't realize how psychotic and cruel she can be.

Its been enough and unless someone offers me a hand I can't get out of this myself. They made me dependand on her, my social life is destroyed thanks to everything that was pulled on me in the last few years, I have no hope of getting a job I can do or getting a better treatment. Its over. All of it. She's as much complicit in everything as the people that hurted me and keep hurting me. Now they added a new fresh trauma for me on top of everything. She robbed me of everything in the end and she keeps acting like she doesn't have personal life because of me. That's bullshit. She never was able to get one. Everyone left her sooner or later and not because of me. Even when I wasn't in her life for many years and lived completely alone. But this covid stuff kind of forced us together and everything that happened surrounding it. She doesn't love me, she doesn't have a concern about me. I could have been dead in the hospital and she sends message "where are you" and then when I start responding a string of abuse comes in. Its enough. I had enough of her daily threats and insults. She is the one abusing me not the other way. When she fell ill I became her room service. But its not good enough no. I get framed all the time. They are making me the new O J Simpson or something. Just because I complain the loudest.

I'm in pain and I can't sleep so this is my story now. She obviously wanted this to happen as she kept sourly nd coldly telling me "this has no future". She tells other people something completely different than me. Now she almost had me killed (again). Because of her shenanigans I ended up in the forest and all of our posessions locked in a storage because she "left us" in a flat last year that she was moving away from only to end up in a trouble with abusive new home owner that we warned her about. She has zero responsibility and she wants to get back doing a manager work? She never admits to a mistake but perhaps I'm foolish. Its all about appearances anyways and how someone can fool each other.

I literally didn't touch her or even scream insults at her for ages, the screaming I controlled for months now. I learned enough self control no matter what she flung at me. But now she did this. All I did was to knock on the door and told her I need to speak with her privately. She had zero reasons besides her hysteria to pull anything like this. Okay she tried to control the hysteria a little now thanks to her therapy, but the only effect it has is that she becomes more cruel instead. Because then all the feeling is gone from her.

But honestly she'd even manage to provoke a shaolin monk by her dishonest projecting behavior.

And she keeps playing the angel no matter how many rude things she tells you beforehand. And she obviously expects total obedience. Literally sometimes she came in and started to order me to sit here stand there and get panicky, sometimes contradicted herself when I moved, because of course I told her the truth and she can't stand it at the face value so her world comes crashing down. Then she turns psychotic. She behaved consistently like a small hitler. I mean it used to get into me especially after some traumatic events but now I see what happens when I really do my best at self control. It still gets sabotaged and she only becomes more cruel. Now I get what happened between her and all her bfs in the past. They found out this side of her, well some of them did. Some of them were terrible. Its like becoming better and more calm only leads to more abuse from her. I suppose then there was a reason why I tended to get into fights with her every so often! Because if she's not kept put she will turn your life into absolute hell. She will kill you if needed to be. There was zero concern that she showed she didn't even ask until i brought it up and I refused to tell her what they found out, apart from that I refused more due to the invasive nature of the other examination. What I got was already enough for me even though this way they couldn't say if there was internal bleeding for sure or not.

You know its really all bs what some people have against plain shouting etc. Obviously screaming is not fine for me even when I'm being murdered but its okay for "FRAGILE WOMAN" to scream like hell even when nobody does anything to her (simply by her fictional world breaking apart) and she just attracts attention and basically any past violence came from the fact that I was traumatized by police coming to beat me up for nothing just because someone makes a false mess. So I tried to stop it because I knew what happens. But even when I keep lid on my emotions it doesn't work at all. I still get blamed and treated like a trash.

Because of course normally you'd get that, as in, normal person only screams when he's in danger, but she's nothing but normal. Thanks to that I have a ruined reputation with others. And this is simply unjust and cruel.

But when I count everything together, most of my life problems were somehow thanks to her, thanks to what she told other people, how they got their impression of me by her manipulation and everything.

She never learns whatever I tell her or warn about. She insists on doing it her way because "muh life" to put it simply. Even though it always always misfired. Like we went to a store when I was drinking a bottle still from home or outside. And I told her, they sometimes have those in the big stores. Isn't it better if you put it to your handbag? And she goes like "no i don't have enough space". Of course it was enough space. It was just an excuse. Oh yea you can put "obsessive compulsive" on the list of her psychiatric ilnesses too, but somehow she still gets away with everything.

So then I am forced to carry the bottle under my arm. In the meantime something happens home and I'm expected to call the police and she just refuses to cooperate and throws a hissy fit in the store and starts walking away without getting the shopping done so I have to intercept her ask her what the hell is she doing etc and convince her we should just finish what we started. Then the security guard gets involved. She throws a few fits at him. Then we got to the till, everything's paid and looks in order. Then I start carrying bags because I'm usually the mule if I go with her and next thing I know the security guard blocks my way and tries to accuse me of stealing the very bottle that i entered the store with. After checking that its not one of the bottles they sold he berates me for not informing the store personnel upfront *has a flashback to my mom saying that it will be fine that its clear I drank from it because its not full etc and basically forced me to follow her immediately without much time for rebuttal*.

And this is just a minor example.Just one in the many. How can one keep sane about all this? I told her outside that I was right and we could have prevented this situation if she just didn't act like a privilidged primadonna(i didnt say those words at the time but that's really what it comes down to) and just kept it in her handbag. Because I didn't take any with me as I was going with her. And she carries TWO OF THEM! She acts like a bloody princess most of the time in practice. No wonder I take the completely opposite take on life if I'm confronted with this and it repulses me. She takes hours daily to apply her makeup If the building was on fire she wouldn't be able to leave it because she'd insist they save her makeup and dress and everything. And she accuses us of spending money when she keeps throwing it away on useless things while we look like fucking bums. Yea. She's the fragile angel woman who often makes death threats to my partnet and even physically attacked him at one point when i wasn't fully present..

But no she can get away with everything can't she? And then I still get to hear the diatribes about from other people that I feel so wronged obviously bla bla bla.

They just have no idea what I have to go through.

Its not ever going to be better is it? Basically "who cares if Leo gets murdered, that loudmouth deserves it" is the motto and TLDR.

I had a good empathic conversation with my partner's mom yesterday. I started breaking down saying I'm just cursed etc. And she made me feel actually better. And then this happens. Like life to remind me that I really am cursed.

I might not return. I don't know if I'll physically be able to keep up for tomorrow. You know long ago when I was a teenager I didn't believe the psychiatrists suggestion that my mom might be silently harming me etc and diagnosed a suspected muchhausen syndrome by proxy (with my mother). As in that she tended to make me ill and come up with explanations/diagnoses out of herself. It might have been bullshit for the most part but there was some truth to it also that she prefers her business over the well being of me. And it all turned out to be true years later.

And I don't even want to get into the territory that she might not be my biological mother because that's yet another story.
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Re: I was

Post by Hellkeeper »

Nice blog post.
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Leo T_C_K
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Re: I was

Post by Leo T_C_K »

I left it here for the reason if I'd never come back so everyone knows what happened/is happening to me.

I can't even get up myself from the bed anymore. She takes no care of me anymore. I mean she didn't already in practice, but now she's even withdrawing any money support, how cruel can one get? Should she be renamed to Cruella DeVille or what?

Not to mention few times she had to take my money for something. So she did the worst imaginable in this situation. One can't get up himself if all the support falls out...
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Re: I was

Post by Leo T_C_K »

Hope is not a hope when there's no action. When there's no hope to speak of. You cannot just wait for miracles to happen because they won;t. I cannot be told and sit and hope for things to improve. This is what I learned from life myself.

So basically this situation comes to a blackmail:

You give someone 14 days to leave after he's crippled even though he didn't violate any agreement or whatever bs they might say.
You give him no support whatsoever to help find something else, this includes "my mom" who says they gave you 14 days its their decision that's it.
No that's not it because its illegal. When she was in a bad position with owner she started screaming "civil lawbook this civil lawbook that", didn't help her in front of the civil court either and she lost the case just as WE TOLD her again. I'm sorry but its getting old. But now. when its me. No laws matter right? That is their attitude and she is a full time accomplice. She is dishonest, without honor, she suffers too many psychiatric conditions found or unfound on top of that.

It all seems to me like a big organized crime group if you ask me. That's what it all comes down to.

And me mellowing down and not being as harsh anymore only had the effect that someone like her started to get ideas to pull shit on me. So that basically in turn justifies my past actions because they kept them at bay. I was stripped of all my "cards and weapons" since so even if I wanted to I cannot repeat it.

And they keep pulling some kind of pre-drawn profile about me that cannot match because they have the wrong guy in the first place! But it shows that some people are willing to base their conclusions simply on either astrology or computer calculations. Now they might have some merit if its truly the same person but in my case its not. Because I was switched at an early age. There's very little practical evidence left if any but what I could recover from my memories was enough. Some people might disbelieve this and say "but a parent will sure feel/know what his child is, even if the child is substantially similar, you know...parent instinct", well some fake enough people might lack that instinct and when she began to have suspicions they were shot down by the suroundings and people around, that much I do know.

I'm all speaking from experience. But it tells and shows that some powers that be are using methods that are not being talked about or acknowledged and take that as the primary measure for anything else, you know the whole family profile etc the calculations. In this time and age its also not a sci-fi to use supercomputers based on data to calculate and predict events based on previous patterns. But what if one of those patterns don't belong to the same person? You don't get accurate data then, even if this method would be dubious. This is not as advanced as say you know...some "true" virtual reality bs you get in some science fiction or fantasy shows.

I do know who that other person is though and he does fit the bill of being her son completely, even when it comes to astrological predictions that some people might not believe in. But I do believe there is some basis to them as in like a "preset" of kind. But it might only work if the society was steered enough and controlled in certain way. You might laugh at this but astrology formed a strong basis in many cultures. Its not very much honored in the west but just look at almost any magazine in the czech republic, you get a "basic horoscope" at the last page often. Its usually vague enough for it to can apply to anyone as this is not what they call the true horoscope. They calculate that based on the real persons' age based on the real birthdate the exact set of circumstances bla bla. You might not believe in it but they do and would take that as the primary measure.

If you think that sounds like some cult or cabal, well you might be right too except i don't think they consider themselves as such. Not when so many things of that are already present in societies dicussed. Where also child birth has been controlled for decades to the point of already long ago before personal computers each child was basically given what comes down to a serial number that is written on the child and that the computer database has. They say this minimized the riscs of child switching etcetera. And the amount of stuff then done to the child, they relaxed this after the velvet revolution but basically it tells you why some people are just in this certain way because most of them have already been born artificially and separated from their parents at birth. That's all nice and fine (but not really), however this system won't prevent switching of child afterwards anyway and if child got separated at some point before then indeed the mother CANNOT develop a feeling for the child deep enough and it will be easier to pull a switcheroo later. And this is precisely why it happened. All those people couldn't just connect it all together in a meaningful way but I just did. And now with this more of a full picture it makes very much sense now doesn;t it?

Basically...the glitch in the MATRIX. Haha.
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Re: I was

Post by Pitbull »

Hellkeeper wrote: Wed Sep 29, 2021 10:01 am Nice blog post.
This is not a blog site.
Upon this rock I will build my church O:-)

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Leo T_C_K
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Re: I was

Post by Leo T_C_K »

I don't run a blog besides.And this was the only site I was still logged on when I got back.

I am fresh from a new trauma, i might still be a bit confused because I took many hits to my head after all.

But either way I require help from anyone who could help a little. So far nobody but my partner's mother talked to me about this and few people irl. Basically I don't have the means to find a new flat right now, my food supply's running out, i am damaged and have to go to additional examinations despite my general resillence because I suppose I'm kind of used to beatings except I didn't have one as hard for many many years.

And now I have how many days left because of their notice to leave in 14 days? It has been how many days? See, my memory's stopping to work correctly because of the trauma instead i get reminded of some forgotten stuff now.

And to think it is mostly thanks to manipulations of a histrionic person that kept claiming she takes care of me but she didn't except for money help and now that's over (again). One time she had hallucinations that I was a door and tried to open me by pulling on my arm. I am not kidding. She did that.

Now you see, when I was outside after the guy kept pushiung me out and kept saying "Go for a walk" while not giving me back my phone, there were two people walkimg by i told them i dont have my phone i can't call the police so they called, but then the guy went to them said something and they started walking away fast, i barely caught up with them due to my injuries but i didn't feel that much yet due to my body producing adrenaline very fast. They told me they called the police but that they won't be my witnesses and walked away. Just scared of anything you know "no we didnt see anything we just heard something bla bla"

Basically I was attacked like three times in total with a bit of a break by the guy. Anyone else who would be cowardly would just run away the first time or try to. But I demanded my phone back and everything.
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Re: I was

Post by Hellkeeper »

Pitbull wrote: Thu Sep 30, 2021 10:52 pm This is not a blog site.
Yeah well you're not my real dad.
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Re: I was

Post by Pitbull »

Hellkeeper wrote: Fri Oct 01, 2021 9:15 am
Yeah well you're not my real dad.
Upon this rock I will build my church O:-)

LOADING HATERS..████████████] 99% Complete.
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Leo T_C_K
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Re: I was

Post by Leo T_C_K »

Well, another hospital visit now for the rest of what they didn't do..and turns out my liver is destroyed, not by drinking though. Might have been a while. Perhaps that's one of the things constantly poisoning my system then. Oh well this is really turning out great. The irony is I wouldn't find out if it wasn't for this attack.
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Re: I was

Post by Leo T_C_K »

Well well. They've really done it now haven't they again? Today we were prevented from copying our things downstairs and blackmailed into giving keys back immediately. No it failed for them because each time I gave in they came up with something new and they started acting agressive. So back I went called the police etc. This time one of the cops not so nice, was believing stories of the owner first. Well, its all a little different beyond the surface now. But well, I really can't stand when someone is actively lying and taking things out of context. You know I am not perfect, but one of my personality traits is that I tell the truth or at least try to as much as possible. Yes I can be mistaken or being mislead by someone. But that doesn't change the fact now does it?

Maybe I should be creating my own "league of shadows" before "ra's al ghul" gets the wind of this all. You know how that would look like?

Image
Image
Image
Image
Image
Image
Image
Image

good joke now isn't it? It wouldn't be me if I didn't try to find at least a little bit of bitter humor even in a dire situation.
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Re: I was

Post by Leo T_C_K »

Its over, there's no point trying anymore. She claims she does maximum, no she does minimum so that nobody could accuse her. I don't care anymore. I'm leaving for good whether I'll die or not this is impossible to take anymore.

Everyone sets conditions including her but doesn't provide us with means to fulfill them and then actively sabotage any effort. That's cruelty.
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Re: I was

Post by Leo T_C_K »

Few hours left in practice or something. I had a phone call where she berated me for "irresponsibilioty" and that I knew it upfront. Knew what upfront? I was ill for a week, I did more than my best to find accomodation. I could have fought it because my sub contract is still valid and there is two months period. I told her when she was up here saying sternly she will not be entering and only handing out things/issuing orders. Each time I tell her some truth she turns it around and into a lie. I simply cut the phone off when she started to get threatening and telling me I am pissing her off so much. What has she done to help me? To actually help me? Lately nothing except spam and kicking down, making traps and sabotaging things. At some point its truly over. But she feels on top of the world. If there is one true monster I have ever met it is her...

zeur says that she's like a baby, she can't tell her feelings apart, she has never developed a real personality, a moral center. In a way she's a victim but what does it help?
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Re: I was

Post by Hyper »

Looks like you are going to need some official and/or legal support. This has grown way too big to solve all on your own. Which country are you in?
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Re: I was

Post by Leo T_C_K »

Yea but then when you try to find it you get exposed to corrupt officials who want to bury stuff, but I'm really sick of being blamed for everything and it was certainly the case there. As far as the court went I was almost sent to jail for the incident with the chirurgist that had a friend the ambulance worker that ended up breaking my shoulder. They covered it up and shot it down and instead tried to blame me for something I didn't do, even though there were clear witnesses who said that the attacker looked very different than me. But the courts didn't care and at the last one(for appeal) there wasn't even an official stamp. It looks like it was basically mafia and perhaps it wasn't really a true court. They're just trying to get me for things they couldn't legally do so. So they orchestrate this charade. Right now I am out of the immediate danger but I can tell you that they're going to try further unless I'm out of picture one way or the other. And there are more than one "players". I cannot for privacy reasons disclose more, because there might be people who might read this. Some of them might know of my online life.

Look by this point I've had my legal rights broken at least twelve times or so on different occasions. Sometimes some courts/instituations recognize that somtimes not, but there are ton of wrong things they didn't. I do have a lawyer that took the case for free and is otherwise quite excellent (apart from some disagreements and him being too neutral for the most part), but even he couldn't really put a stop to anything so it leaves me to wonder whether it could have went better without the lawyer or not matter at all because no matter how he put it and how many holes he shot in the case it didn't matter at all.

It has gone political in the end. I represent something someone doesn't want. I used to have big anger management problems which I more or less stabilized in the end but that isn't the core of this. I admit I can/could be rude and sometimes say things that I didn't mean in the distress, but I am not such a violent person like they made me out to be or blew the discriptions of situations way out of proportions.

But basically from all the behavior from the state it is like they can get away with anything breaking the law as long as its targeted against me, but i cannot get away with anything as low as misdemeanor in self defense and they cannot allow for me to rebel against the establishment of any kind or get to know secrets they wanted to bury. That's what it comes down to. There are also people in the online communities I trust no longer that tried to put the blame on me too and put me through guilt trips when I asked for money. Some of those people later revealed to me their political affiliation which didn't agree with me. Which I claimed was one of the sources of the problem so they ended up blocking me and putting a completely fictional image of me in their heads in order to justify it. Like that I am a fascist and friends/people that told me with my health problems it wouldn't be good to take the mRNA shots, that those people are outright murderers. This is going a bit too offtopic even from the main topic. But I feel like I need to get out my feelings and all this.

EDIT: But yea I mean when I have more control over myself and don't go into panic modes like I used to many years back, they cannot just shrug everything off and claim "ah see he's crazy, he's insane, he blows his lid each time for tiny reasons, its better not to pay any attention to him" (even though often I was being manipulated/provoked off the sight or under such emotional distress that I couldn't handle much else), when this is no longer the case then it all starts to peel off and you see what I described previously. When I'm more collected some people perceive me as more of a threat to their well being obviously, while the relations in the online communities have instead mostly improved as far as I'm concerned. But I've been mislead so many times, too.
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Re: I was

Post by Hyper »

Well, your situation is way too complicated for me to even remotely understand. I didn't even read most of your main post because of the wall of text. (No offense, just way too much information for me) But I still think you will need some official and/or legal help to get you through the jungle of legal trouble, procedures, and the image that others have about you. Even when I don't understand a bit about your situation, it looks like it just grown way beyond what an individual can take on himself. But I don't know what the possibilities are in %country name%.
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Re: I was

Post by Leo T_C_K »

At least that's something honest when you say its something remotely too complex. I get that very rarely, instead people try to second guess most of the time and not get it right. I sent you pm though.
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Re: I was

Post by Leo T_C_K »

Its all just a jungle of discrimination thus nothing official will help. I heard the ukrainian was actually recruited to work for the police under some forced conditions otherwise they would have deported him. Not sure if it was true but I guess everything's possible in this state. Nothing changed in that sense since the secret agents/informants of the stasi/stb/kgb and whatever else they had in the whole eastern block...
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