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Uneral: Hutn Down The Prisner 849: Urenal Side Story: The Mr.Profit Quest For Strawberry Cholocate Box

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Leo T_C_K
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Uneral: Hutn Down The Prisner 849: Urenal Side Story: The Mr.Profit Quest For Strawberry Cholocate Box

Post by Leo T_C_K »

FLAHBANG TO THE EVNETS OF VORTEX RIKERS CRASH!:

A nervus commander and a pilot are sitting on their asses on their chairs, literally on top them as they are bored, on the top of their seats and doing something that resembles ballet bullet dancing.

The pilot settles down for a moment and there's a moment of awkwarard silent sience. Suddenly someone leans towards his big overgrown ear and says: VORTEX MESSA!

The pilot screams: NO OOOO OO OOO AAAAAAAAAAAAAA and is evidenently started. He flails his arms in the air like there's no tomorrow, the commander notices and says "WHAT ARE YOU DOING IDIOT THIS IS NOT WHERE WEREWOLF(the apocalypse tm) WERE SUPPOSED TO BE NOW, DIVERT ENGINES TO REACTOR 567683328 OPERATION TEN HUNDRER HUNGRER"
And everything just goes black...the VR is crashing. Because they haven't adjusted their VR sets properly....

*flash forward to some other time other dimension*

A twin-sun tanned dude is standing on top of a hill.

Jack: This would be a good spot for some king kong of the hill setup, come to think of it.

Mr. Profit: That'd be swell. And maybe over there would be a spot for the new funerral tournament gametype Mofo FUckannaation.

Jack: Whart the fuCK? Are yOU?

Mr. Profit: Inddeed, so you are. You have no idea what's ahead of you...but I DO *he says as his face turns kinda sinisterr like some kind of MAN WHO LAUGHS*

Jack: How's DAT POSSIBL!!

Mr. Profit: I might as well tell you, when the time comes, for now, good BYE BYE MOTHERFUCKER HAHAHAAHA!

Jack: What a weirdo....

*flash fororFOURWARD P849 again*

We see John Travolta sutmble himself into the communications center of TEH STARLIGHT ZONE BASE.

We hear a familiar voice: "Bodega Bay, make sure Prisoner 849 doesn't come back, terminate the prisoner once the job is DONE!"

John Travolta: ...

Mr.Profit suddenly teleport into the room and projects a projection of P849:
"YOU BETRAYED ME...YOU FUCKED ME UP..I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN WHAT TO EXCEPT FROM YOU GIY YOU G BASTARDS!!!!!!!!!!!"
he/she/it says

The Bithc Head of the STARLIGT ZOEN BASE says:
"OHOOOOOOO" as she exhales heavily...
"STAY AWAY FROM MEEEE!!!!!!" *she slams a chair around and her headset and everything, including a drying rack wiuth her panties and she screams loudly and says "ARRRRAAAAAAAA UHHHHHH HHHHHUHHHHHHHHHH HGGGGRRRRRRRR"

John Travolta: "Should I call an ambualaence?"

The Bihtc: "No...and you don't recognize me...but.... I AM YOUR MOTHER"

John Travolta: "NOOOOOOOOO!!! CANT BE!!!"

Jane Travolta: "YES, CAN BE"

suddenly a portal opens and out comes jack and he immediately QUADSHOTHEADSHOTS JANE AWAY

Jack: "The fuck is going on."

Mr. Profit opens yet another portal, they go into some weird ship cockpit with some tentacle cthulhuhuhuhu monster sitting there and he says:

"make yourselves comfortable, i plucked you from your time, now no time matters in here you see we are in the middle of dipshit nowhere"

"you will not remember anything of this adventure once I'm done, your memories will be erased, that's why I am a nali dressed like men un black, I have my own ERASER"

"I am known universaSALLY as Mr. Profit"

he says as he opens a portal with p849 inside and other random mofos from around the MULTIVERSE

p849: "that almost sounds like prophet, you don't wanna say you are related in any way to the nali prophet of old, are you?"

Mr. Profit: "there have been more prophets since...but indeed...you discovered my sekretz, oh no....."

Mr. Profit: "I was a very different kind of Nali back then...those idiots on my planet heralded me as some kind of divine figure but I only had the visions of future thanks to interfacing with that crashed ship of the DRARARARNOEL ancient raec"

p849: "..."

Mr. Profit: "This cocksuckingpit is their ship, you see after the skaarj tortured me with those tarydium shards that i had an extreme allergy to, yes our Nali doctors and medicinemen never did a FUCK about IT! So I died because of it...it was too much...but I somehow linked with the tarydium and exploded it all around and in the skaarj bodies and my brethen have learned to do the same....that was so fucking gory and wesome"

p849: "so you're a killer"

Mr. Profit Bison turns with a cap on his head and screens behind him: "Of COURSE!"

p849: "so much for the nali being a peaceful race I guess, ONP Guy would agree"

Mr. Profit: "Yes he was the only one to figure out there were many "old vortex rikers" "

p849: "But if you died, how come you're here"

Mr. Profit: "Its becuz...then my mind was taken by the ancient ship's AI and without the need for real physical body we explored time and spaec! We went onto so many adventures and i learned the sekretz of the cozmos. I came to know much about moleculeares and structure of the universe and I started morphing into other creatures...
I'll never forget that SEAgoat that I became briefly. That wasn't very nice for me I admit. But then it just became sex drugz and rocknroll so I changed my appearance to this and stuck with it ever since!
"

*everyone in the room stands with wide opened expressions and wide open asses also*

"but why me? why did you bring me here? What do I have to do with all this?"

Mr. Profit: "Oh, Jose....well you seemed to be my favorite figure from some random shows I ended up watching on the multiverse channel"

"My name is not Jose....I am Jason the ORIGINAL RED POWER MOTHERFUCKING RANGER"

Mr. Profit: "Oh Jose, don't be ashamed of your real name please, don't you know that this is a great and DIVERSE WORD WERE LIVING IN?!"

John Travolta: "Okay cut this out, so what is it now, what do you want from us?"

Mr. Profit: "Well, in all of my universe exploration I found out there's nothing greater in the cosmos than...a box of STRAWBERRNY Cholocate! In all of the known universe....those enlightened enough will have come to the conclusion"

...

Mr. Profit: "So up you go, I assembled all of you to be my WRANGLER RANGERS and come bring me that delicious box right now!"

To be continued....??!


https://archiveofourown.org/works/32042842
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Hellkeeper
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Re: Uneral: Hutn Down The Prisner 849: Urenal Side Story: The Mr.Profit Quest For Strawberry Cholocate Box

Post by Hellkeeper »

This is the best thing since the release of Unreal 2.
I thoroughly enjoyed the typos.
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Leo T_C_K
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Joined: Sat Aug 27, 2005 6:24 pm

Re: Uneral: Hutn Down The Prisner 849: Urenal Side Story: The Mr.Profit Quest For Strawberry Cholocate Box

Post by Leo T_C_K »

The best thing to come along since....KHAAAAN



addition:
fanfiction link
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13904792/1 ... -Quest-For
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Leo T_C_K
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Posts: 3655
Joined: Sat Aug 27, 2005 6:24 pm

Re: Uneral: Hutn Down The Prisner 849: Urenal Side Story: The Mr.Profit Quest For Strawberry Cholocate Box

Post by Leo T_C_K »

https://archiveofourown.org/works/32097142

I think I'm really stretching it here, kind of running out of steam and its really hot now and I'm really losing the "edge" now. I'd rather scan/upload my comics that I drew a while back because they're really funny and better than this, but well given my shitty situation I don't think that can happen soon. I suppose this was just escapism for a while but I'm really worried about the next couple of days and its showing on this already. Whatever the case I still hope it was somewhat enjoyable.
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